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By Lydia PatrickShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberA woman has gone viral after revealing a surprising detail about her three-year relationship: her boyfriend did not know her middle name—or how to spell her last name.
The Redditor, u/momjjeanss, 35, shared a screenshot of her text exchange with her partner, 42, in which he admitted the oversight. The post gathered more than 10,000 upvotes in the subreddit Am I Overreacting?
"I only posted it because he insisted that 'everyone he knows' would agree with him that it was not a big deal. I figured I’d ask the hive mind to confirm. I wasn’t mad just genuinely surprised that he didn’t know my last name three years in," the Redditor told Newsweek.
In the post, the original poster (OP) explained that her boyfriend of three years had only just learned her middle name and the spelling of her last name. She said they originally met a decade ago, when she still used her maiden name, and that although she divorced four years ago, she has kept her married name since.
AIO my boyfriend (42M) of 3 years doesn’t know my (35F) name? byu/momjjeanss inAmIOverreacting
Expert Insight
John Puls told Newsweek that situations like this—where a partner forgets small but meaningful personal details—are not uncommon in relationships.
"The extent of what this means is dependent on the relationship. For example, it could be yet another sign that someone’s partner is emotionally absent, and not paying attention to their partner in any meaningful way," Puls told Newsweek.
He said the significance depends heavily on the broader context. According to Puls, it could signal emotional absence or a lack of genuine attentiveness, but it could also stem from factors such as executive-functioning challenges, ADHD, or dyslexia. He emphasized that if cognitive issues play a role, the forgotten details should not be taken personally.
Puls added that it is essential to look at the entire relationship rather than focusing solely on these two examples. He said the details could be symbolic of deeper issues, or they could be insignificant—entirely dependent on the full context of the partnership.
...Reddit Reacts
Redditors were quick to flood the comments with humor and disbelief.
"Does he know your first name?" joked one user.
"I grew up with an Irish mother. I thought my name was Jesus Christ for the first few years," shared another.
"I don’t understand how it wouldn’t have come up before three years. Is it a complicated last name? Not knowing your middle name is less offensive, but last name is wild," wrote one commenter.
"NOR Either he doesn't give a s*** about you or he's a f***** idiot. Do with that information as you will," said another user.Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
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