"I was just ready to check out" - Monty Williams opens up about the devastating loss of his wife

As tough as it was to live up to the demands of being an NBA player and, later on, a head coach, nothing prepared Monty Williams for the tragedy that struck his family. In 2016, his wife, Ingrid Williams, was killed in a car accident while he was an associate head coach for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

During his appearance on the "Run Your Race" podcast, Monty shared how he coped with this devastating loss and its impact on his life and his family's. In a rare moment of vulnerability, he admitted that there were many times when he would just retreat to his closet, lie on the floor and contemplate where life had taken him. However, that extremely difficult stage of his life helped shape his outlook and voice, especially as a basketball head coach.

Everything you want is on the other side of hard

After the Phoenix Suns, the team Monty was coaching at the time, lost Game 4 of the 2021 NBA Finals to the Milwaukee Bucks, he showed complete calm and composure while addressing the team in the locker room. In that moment, cameras captured him uttering what would become a viral phrase: "Everything you want is on the other side of hard."

"That particular phrase — 'everything you want is on the other side of hard' — came after I lost my first wife," Williams recalled. "Because everything happened so abruptly. You know, one minute I'm getting ready for a game in OKC and I think it was New Orleans coming to town and then I get the phone call that no one ever wants to get."

In February 2016, Ingrid's vehicle was hit head-on by another that had made its way to the center lane. Although she was brought to the hospital, she later succumbed to her severe injuries.

Monty recalled trying to put on a brave front, especially for his five kids. However, he divulged that deep inside, he had no clue what to do.

"Once they fell asleep, I would slide out of my bed and I would go into my closet and I would lay on the floor in the dark and try to figure out: how did I get here?" Monty shared.

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Monty didn't know where to go next

To Monty, Ingrid wasn't just his wife. She was his best friend, life partner and compass. Losing her left Monty in a state of flux and confusion.

"I was just ready to check out. Not check out like do something drastic. I was like, going to be gone," he revealed. "I was going to pack my kids up, go out west, buy a thousand acres, raise my dogs, fish and just kind of get away from it."

Monty, though, soon received divine guidance as to where he should go next. From friends and colleagues checking in on him to his former coach, Gregg Popovich, imploring him to let people help, many people chipped in to help him move forward.

"I'll never forget the conversation Pop and I had on the phone the day after she passed. He called me, and he was wanting to get up there and catch a flight to come see me," Monty said. "And I'm on the phone with him and he kept saying, 'Mont, you got to let people help you. You got to let people…' And he just kept saying it to the point where I got upset."

"All of those encouragements, all of those people praying for me, all of the family members that called to check on me — was what helped me get past hard," he added.

Although Monty is no longer coaching in the NBA following a dismal stint with the Detroit Pistons during the 2023-24 season, he's still in the game, coaching the boys' basketball team at TMI Episcopal in San Antonio.

He has also since remarried, tying the knot with Lisa Keeth in 2017.

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This story was originally published by Basketball Network on Nov 27, 2025, where it first appeared in the Off The Court section. Add Basketball Network as a Preferred Source by clicking here.