Image via Nickelodeon
By
J.S. Gornael
Published 21 minutes ago
J.S. Gornael has a BA in English with a Creative Writing Emphasis in Poetry and an MFA in Fiction. He has taken workshops in poetry, fiction, and non-fiction (though mostly the second). Half-cinephile, half-bookworm, he is both a TV/Movie List Writer for Collider and a book review editor for IndieReader. He occasionally writes reviews himself, and looks forward to finally getting several novels out of his head and onto paper (published or not).
His favorite movie is Apocalypse Now, and, for those who care, his favorite version of it is 2019's Apocalypse Now: Final Cut. Though he gave up trying to watch every episode of The Simpsons when he reached season 10, he still loves writing about it. Other shows he would like to write about more range from House to Avatar: The Last Airbender.
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SpongeBob SquarePants has a wide range of characters who span from morally upstanding citizens to evil-doers who will stop at nothing until their malevolent plans are fulfilled. And if SpongeBob (Tom Kenny) is the typical hero of the show, then Plankton (voiced by Mr. Lawrence) is the primary villain. He's built himself an extensive laboratory with funds that came from who knows where. Certainly not from restaurant profits, as The Chum Bucket never gets any customers. It just goes to show that even a genius has their weak points: for Plankton, it's cooking and customer service. Strange that someone who hates society and has such a technology-focused approach to cooking so desperately wants to be a restaurateur.
A sky-high education, maniacal laughter, dramatic exclamations of defeat, comedically strange plans that always get thwarted, a Napoleonic complex—Plankton has all the hallmarks of a classic cartoon villain. Many of his best quotes exhibit these qualities, but they can also defy expectations without losing touch of the character. Either way, his greatest quotes in the franchise show that Plankton's particular brand of villainy is uniquely hilarious.
10 Harmonica Solo
"Band Geeks" (Season 2, Episode 15b)
A still from the episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, "Single-Cell Anniversary", featuring Plankton singing a song while shaking a pair of maracas Image via Nickelodeon
Important question: Can Plankton play the harmonica? Maybe if he built himself a tiny one, but he opts for the standard size when Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) starts a marching band. After the band leader asks Plankton how his harmonica solo is going, the latter optimistically replies, "It's tremendous! You wanna see?" This first "quote" can't technically be quoted, as it's just a bunch of breathing and musical notes. But those who know the episode know it's a joy hear.
Being so small, Plankton can only blow one note at a time. Then he has to run over to another aperture and blow into that, a task so physically demanding that he collapses by the end. It's wholesome in a way, since Plankton isn't the kind of character you would expect to join in such a public activity—much less put this much effort into it. He's so comically mismatched here that it conveys just how poorly band practice is going. We're almost as breathless as Plankton when he's finished—making this one of the many, many reasons why "Band Geeks" is the crowning jewel of season two.
9 "That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!"
"Welcome to the Chum Bucket" (Season 2, Episode 14a)
A still from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Welcome to the Chum Bucket" featuring PlanktonImage via Nickelodeon
One of Plankton's best episodes in the show is definitely "Welcome to the Chum Bucket," when he wins SpongeBob from Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown) and does his darndest to make his prize actually do his job. Unfortunately for him, SpongeBob just won't budge. The option of putting SpongeBob's brain in a robot is brought up and quickly waved away, as it supposedly won't work. But then Plankton and SpongeBob have an argument that gets so heated that the fry cook actually makes a fart sound with his mouth and points his butt in Plankton's direction. The business owner loses it, saying "That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!"
The preparation and build up for this moment is what makes the quote so good. By now, the audience knows that SpongeBob's brain may be on the line. Meanwhile, Plankton has been so obsequious towards his employee that it's hilarious to watch him try so hard and fail to reign in his notoriously hot temper. This combination of superiority in his tone and powerlessness in this situation (not even the robot will obey) comedically captures his overall role in the show.
8 "You pretentious little insignificant artist. Your sniveling creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste!"
"Plankton!" (Season 1, Episode 3b)
A still of Sheldon J. Plankton from SpongeBob SquarePantsImage via Nickelodeon
Plankton has the most advanced vocabulary in Bikini Bottom, and he's not afraid to use it. When he takes over SpongeBob's brain, he has the sponge somehow smash through Squidward's house. When Squidward protests, Plankton has his puppet turn only his head around and insult the bewildered neighbor for basically no reason: "Shut up you mediocre clarinet player." Poor Squidward takes that to heart, but Plankton's not done: "You pretentious little insignificant artist. Your sniveling creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste!"
Better than any other, this scene encapsulates Plankton's representation of a sinister smartypants. As funny as it is to watch Squidward have the worst night ever, it's also an impressively disturbing image: Plankton's voice comes out of SpongeBob's mouth, and even his facial expressions manipulate the fry cook's. Along with the dark setting, SpongeBob's body facing the wrong direction, and his eyes rolling into his head, this feels like the most macabre image outside a Halloween episode. In short (no pun intended), this quote is Plankton.
7 "I'll show you sub-species!"
"Patrick SmartPants" (Season 4, Episode 8a)
Plankton disguising himself as psychiatrist Dr. Peter Lankton in SpongeBob SquarePants.Image via Nickelodeon
"Patrick SmartPants" might not be one of season four's funniest episodes, but it certainly has one of the season's most delightfully surprising moments. Currently the most brilliant member of Bikini Bottom, Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) is under his rock peering through a microscope. SpongeBob asks what he's up to, and the starfish says he's "studying this amazing sub-species." Cut to Patrick's point of view: at the center of a circle stands a furious Plankton: "I'll show you sub-species!"
Plankton always gets a hard time for being small, but this might be the most disrespectful thing anyone's ever done to him. Patrick apparently took him off the street and stuck him under a microscope. Plankton has a lab, but he's being spoken of as if he can't even comprehend language. This one split second of screen time is all we need for the punchline, which is hilariously passed over for SpongeBob and Patrick to talk. No doubt this "sub-species" is plotting revenge, and hopefully the dumber version of Patrick will be able to handle it.
6 "Well, it's great to be back! Huh...?"
"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV" (Season 3, Episode 15a)
A still from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Walking Small" featuring Plankton in Goo Lagoon with his own bulldozerImage via Nickelodeon
"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV" has one of the best endings in the show's history. SpongeBob has just shrunk everybody and everything in Bikini Bottom so that everyone is the same proportion again. It's very clever, but the final seconds are what take the cake. A normal-sized bus (giant now to Bikini Bottomites) stops, and Plankton gets off the bus carrying a suitcase. With a surprisingly chipper tone, he says "Well, it's great to be back!" But no one's around, so he looks down at the tiny city: "Huh...?"
If there's one person you don't want to be larger than the entire city, it's Plankton. The audience can only imagine the kind of havoc he's likely to wreak upon everyone once he assesses the situation, which could encompass an entire episode in itself. The hypothetical scenario we're forced to imagine makes this one of season three's best moments. Also, there's something so wholesome in Plankton actually being happy to be back in Bikini Bottom.
5 "I WENT TO COLLEGE!"
"Plankton!" (Season 1, Episode 3b)
Plankton commands his slaves.Image via Nickelodeon
These days, it's almost common sense that going to college doesn't automatically mean you'll be a success. But Plankton let us know about the phenomenon back in the late 90s, when SpongeBob was still building its reputation. These are his first lines: "Hear me, Krabs! When I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I WENT TO COLLEGE!" What a time to flex your education level, and the intimidation doesn't even work; Krabs puts him on a plate and frisbees him back to The Chum Bucket.
The writers didn't have to point out that Plankton went to college for the audience to understand who this character was, but it's a brilliant move because it shows us that this hyper-intelligent villain may be hiding some insecurities behind his sophistication. It's also just plain hilarious when someone tries to show off by pointing to an accomplishment that isn't particularly impressive or relevant to the conversation. Add in how he points to himself and raises his voice during that line, and we get a perfect intro to Krabs' archenemy.
4 "Other way! Imbeciles..."
"The Fry-Cook Games" (Season 2, Episode 19b)
A still from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Algae's Always Greener" featuring Plankton wearing Mr. Krabs outfit and acting as the owner of the Krusty KrabImage via Nickelodeon
Say what you want about Plankton, but it must be difficult being a highly intelligent specimen in a town full of idiots. Trying to announce The Chum Bucket's contestant in The Fry Cook Games, he tells the audience to "turn your attention to the southwest corridor!" They all turn in the same direction, and they're all wrong. Plankton has to correct them, "Other way!" And even though he's speaking into a microphone, he can't help but grumble, "Imbeciles." Even when they start turning in the other direction, he has to tell them when to stop.
Plankton isn't always the most relatable character in a scene, but it's hard not to nod in agreement here. This is a shocking display of ignorance, given how many fish have shown up to the event. The fact that he has to direct them all just to look in the direction of his star is hilarious, and it's very Plankton to call everyone imbeciles under his breath. His condescending tone as he says "Other way" is hilarious, making this half-successful attempt at containing his disdain makes this a perfect reply.
3 "Felicitations, malefactors!"
"Plankton's Army" (Season 3, Episode 18b)
Plankton is introduced to his cousins in SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Plankton's Army".Image via Nickelodeon
When Plankton decides to rally up some tough guys who will do his bidding, he rubs his hands together and states that he knows exactly how to talk to them. Cut to a pool bar, where several buff patrons hear a voice announce, "Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles!" Then Plankton raises his arms as if they've already agreed to work for him, "WHO WILL JOIN ME?!"
No one! He gets crushed instead, and it's no surprise. Like most classic villains, Plankton has a formidable vocabulary, and he really overdoes it this time. You can tell from his opening words ("Felicitations, malefactors!") that this isn't going to work, which is even funnier when you peruse a dictionary and discover that he had the audacity to open not with a neutral "hello" but with a synonym for "congratulations." This guy is out of touch to say the least, proving once again why he's one of the best characters in the show.
2 "I'm sorry, Gram-Gram!"
"Krabs vs. Plankton" (Season 4, Episode 2b)
Plankton crumpled and in pain in a puddle of water on the floor of the Krusty Krab in SpongeBob SquarePants.Image via Nickelodeon
Season four's "Krabs vs. Plankton" is one of Plankton's best episodes in the show. After a bad slip at The Krusty Krab (which a surprising amount of patrons noticed, given his size), Plankton decides to significantly exaggerate the degree of his injury and take his nemesis to court. Can a legal proceeding really work as the basis of an episode for this fast-paced, surreal cartoon? Yes it can, especially with Plankton coming up with a ridiculous story about promising his "Ol' Grammy" that he would run a marathon. All lies, but the jury buys into it. At the end of his story, he melodramatically cries, "I'm sorry, Gram-Gram!"
Plankton running a marathon is already a hilarious idea. Throw on the promise to his grandmother, and you have a farce so absurd that it simultaneously portrays the last thing that Plankton would ever do with the level of manipulation that Plankton would absolutely go for.
1 "His chops are too righteous!"
'The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie' (2004)
Image via Nickelodeon
Plankton brought his A-game to the big screen, where his infamous Plan Z can only be defeated by the incredible power of rock 'n roll. During "Goofy Goober Rock," SpongeBob plays a solo so out of this world that the fry cook manages to shoot laser beams at Plankton's helmets. With most of his slaves freed, Plankton exclaims, "His chops are too righteous! The helmets can't handle this level of rock and roll!"
Based on the other quotes listed above, you might think that Plankton would say something like, "His virtuosic improvisations are too formidable!" So when he uses the kind of language you'd expect from an inebriated member of the crowd, we're caught off guard in the most spectacular way. It's also the panic in his voice; who says "His chops are too righteous!" with such horror? No one. This climactic, hysterical subversion of expectations stands as the best quote in the entire movie—and maybe even Plankton's greatest quote of all time.
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The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
PG
Animation
Release Date
November 19, 2004
Runtime
87 Minutes
Director
Stephen Hillenburg, Mark Osborne
Writers
Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon, Kent Osborne, Aaron Springer, Paul Tibbitt, Tim Hill
Cast
See All-
Tom Kenny
SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Various
-
Clancy Brown
Mr. Krabs
-
Rodger Bumpass
Squidward / Fish #4
-
Bill Fagerbakke
Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish
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